Knife Through My Heart
by Daisythecannibal
Summary: Severus Snape's experiences as a student at Hogwarts...
1. The Hogwarts Express

Dagger Through My Heart

Chapter I: The Hogwarts Express

"Have a great year at school, honey! We'll see you during Christmas break!" My mother said with tears in her eyes.

"Yes!" I replied with a smile as I thought about all the fun I would be having during my very first year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Then my mom and dad kneeled down and each gave me a large, loving hug and wishing me best of luck during my year.

Or, at least that's how I wished it had happened.

Basically it went like this.

"Get out of the car, we have to be somewhere important in fifteen minutes! When you get into the station just walk in-between platforms nine and ten and you'll be there." Was all that my mother said. She didn't give even the slightest smile to give me some support; actually she didn't even look at me.

"Oh, and Serverus," my father started, "please try to not to disgrace the family name." With that I watched as my parents rolled away in one of the ministry's cars, never once taking a last glance at their son, whom they would not see again until June.

After a great deal of confusion, mainly staring blankly at platform nine and then platform ten for about fifteen minutes, I finally relented to asking for help when I saw a little boy walk _through _platforms nine and ten.

"Um, excuse me ma'am?" I asked trying to hide the nervous quiver in my voice.

"Yes?" She asked, obviously nervous about a muggle thinking someone had just walked through a solid wall.

"My parents had to go somewhere and um… well… could you please help me do that? They didn't really say what it was I should do to get in-between the platform…"

"It's quite simple, all you need to do is walk straight at it- however if you feel nervous, you should try to run at it- it will make you feel slightly better."

"Thank you ma'am." And with that I ran full speed into the wall.

Thankfully I went right through and in front of me now was a whole new platform.

Platform 9 ¾. There right in front of me was now a scarlet train, very different from the black ones on all the other platforms. As I continued to make my way to the train I watched as all the parents kissed their children goodbye, told them how they would see them over the winter holidays and how they would write every day, then wave goodbye from outside the train.

It felt like a knife plunging into my heart.

All I could think about was all the heartfelt goodbyes I was witnessing and the not even half-hearted one I had received from my parents.

With every step I took the knife was plunging deeper and deeper into my heart.

As I stepped onto the train I looked instinctively for an empty compartment, it was just in my nature, I was a loner. I mean I just didn't fit in with anyone. I was too shy, too stupid, too scrawny etc. etc. No matter what I did I got yelled at or made fun of. Eventually I just withdrew myself from everything and everyone.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sliding of the compartment door. "Is this seat taken?" said a boy about my age. He was short and skinny giving the impression of someone who would be blown over by even the slightest gust of wind. "There are no more seats anywhere, believe me- I've checked."

"Um, no, you can sit here." I replied, although I was quite unhappy about this event, personally I was hoping I would be able to wallow in self pity for the rest of the train ride reflecting on the failure that was my life, but I soon found out that was not about to happen.

"Thanks, I'm Illusturis Dantus, what's your name? Any idea what house you'll be, where do you want to be, are you pureblood, aren't you excited to be going to Hogwarts? I know I am!" Illusturis replied finally taking a breath.

"I'm Severus Snape and my _entire_ family has been in Slytherin for generations, so if I'm not, well, I'm pretty much out of the family for good…" I began for what would be two hours or so, but for the first time in my life, the time flew by quickly.

I had found my first real friend; I couldn't believe it, I Severus Snape, had a friend.

I Severus Snape had laughed for the first time in what seemed like years.

I Severus Snape had actually had a good time talking to another person.

Was this the beginning of a new life, or the end of an old one?

Only time would tell what was in store for me as the scarlet engine approached Hogsmead Station and we got of first glimpse at the castle and school that would be our home for the entire year; Hogwarts.


	2. Sorting and Seperation

Yet again I do not own any of these characters, places, etc they are all the property of J. K. Rowling

Quick note: I want to thank everyone who reviewed- it makes me so happy!

**about this chapter** I know it seems to echo the first chapter of HP & Sorcerer's Stone- but there it a reason for that which hopefully will become clearer as the plot unfolds… hopefully… Oh ya, and the house traits are kind of weird I know…

I hate Midterms… Chemistry tomorrow… then band (easy) than I'm ALL DONE!!! (Had to do some venting…)

Knife Through My Heart Chapter II: Sorting and Separation 

When I caught my first glimpse of Hogwarts I thought I had been brought to the wrong place- it was enormous! My family had lived in a fairly large house, but this- this easily surpassed even the vastest of all homes my eyes had ever laid sight on! It seemed as though where ever I looked there was more of the castle to be seen.

Judging by the expressions of my future classmates I was not the only one feeling this way- every single pair of eyes was glued to the castle.

"First Years! First Years! Come 'ere! All of ya! Come on now! Follow me! First Years!" I looked up to see the largest man I had ever seen in my life calling for me to follow him. I looked over at Illusturis and we both started to follow him, slowly being followed by the other first years. "You excited for your first year here at Hogwarts?" The large man asked Illusturis and me. Illusturis, being the strong self-confident person I had found him to be, jumped right in by telling this stranger about his hopes and expectations for the upcoming school year.

I just stood there being my typical, antisocial self. Unable to get up the nerve to say anything. Right then I made a personal resolution to not let my fears get in the way of making new friends and for the first time in my life being happy.

As we made our way into the castle we were greeted by a homely atmosphere, which kept our nerves at ease. At least until the rumors about having to battle a werewolf and dragon to be placed into your correct house surfaced.

"No way- I can't be forced to battle Flobberworm- let alone a werewolf or dragon!" I choked out to Illusturis.

"I thought you said you were a pureblood?" Illusturis inquired.

"Yes, I did- why?" I countered defensively, worried about where this was going.

"I'm amazed your parents didn't tell you about-" he remarked, but I never got to hear what he was about to say to calm my nerves because a tall man with long graying hair and a beard and half moon spectacles came to the top of the stairs. What was most remarkable to me was not the length of his hair or choice in glasses, but his style of dress- it was a purple cloak- not a deep purple almost black cloak, but a_ bright _purple cloak! Never in my life had I ever seen anything like it. Well at least on a figure of importance. My family was very strict about keeping to tradition and culture, etc.

Surely this was not a teacher! Maybe some older student playing a prank on us- trying to make us laugh before we took our last breaths of air during the dreaded sorting ceremony. "I am Deputy Headmaster Albus Dumbledore and it is my greatest pleasure to welcome you to your first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In a few moments time I shall ask that you all follow me through these elaborately decorated doors to take part in the sorting ceremony, in which each and everyone of you will be placed in one of the four houses: Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, or Slytherin. Contrary to what the older students have been telling you on the train; you do not, I repeat do not have to battle a giant, a dragon, a snake, a werewolf, or my personal favorite, me. Now if you could please follow me through these doors the sorting ceremony is about to begin."

The doors swung open and exposed four enormous tables and the rest of the school. I held my breath and prepared for my fate.

"When you hear your name called I want you to come up here, sit down on this stool, and put on the sorting hat which will tell you were you ought to be."

"I told you you would be fine." Illusturis whispered to me.

Professor Dumbledore place a very tattered hat onto the stool and in an instant it burst out into a song:

"I've been around for years and years;

Ask anyone with knowledge.

They will tell you I know all;

And though I don't believe in bragging,

I feel that that is true as true

And therefore becomes the truth.

So when you put me on your head

Nothing can you hide

For if you have it in your head

I am bound to see it

Through this I can see where you belong

Whether it be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw

Gryffindor or Slytherin

You must have one's traits

Or else you would be not here

So put me on

Let me in your head

And I will tell you

Where it is you should be;

In Hufflepuff you'll find

Friendship through and through

These caring ones

Know not of their own worries

But work together to see that it gets done.

In Ravenclaw you will find

Intelligence is key.

These studious ones

Productive is their time

Always ready to think it through sets them apart.

In Slytherin you will find

The importance of loyalty

These dedicated ones

Know not of betrayal

For they stick together for all eternity.

In Gryffindor you will find

The thirst for adventure

These courageous ones

These valiant know not of fear

Because they value bravery at the top.

Now relax

Pull up a seat

And put me on

For only I can tell you

Where you ought to be.

And remember too

That if it's in your head

It cannot be hidden

Because I'm the Hogwarts sorting hat

Who knows it all."

Following the conclusion of the song the entire hall erupted in applause and standing ovations. After everything had settled down Professor Dumbledore once again to the floor this time with a list of names.

"Ago, Oliver" he called and a little hunchbacked kid sat down on the stool.

"_Hufflepuff!_" shouted the hat.

"Black, Sirius" "_Gryffindor!"_

"Caelestis, Patricia"_ "Ravenclaw!"_

"Dantus, Illusturis" I looked at Illusturis and gave him a reassuring smile as he walked up.

"_Ravenclaw!"_ yelled the hat after only a few brief seconds- well it could be worse, he could have been in Gryffindor. I can just picture it now, "Hey, mother, father, I want you to meet my friend Illusturis- he's in Gryffindor." That would just not work for my family, not that they will be happy with me associating with a non-Slytherin, but anyway…

Wait a minute- when have they ever been happy with me!?

"Lupin, Remus" "_Gryffindor_!"

"Miratrix, Jillyan" "_Slytherin!"_

My heart was racing, the "S's" were coming up, what if I was put in a house other than Slytherin, my family would have me assassinated to prevent anyone from hearing about their shameful son who couldn't even accomplish getting into the house that his _entire_ family had been in…

"Mordax, Celia"_ "Hufflepuff!"_

"Pettigrew, Peter" "_Gryffindor_!"

"Potter, James" "_Gryffindor_!"

"Rauca, Lisabeth" "_Ravenclaw!"_

No Professor Dumbledore was getting closer to calling my name- I could not take this pressure anymore!

"Snape, Severus" I heard called out. No, it was too soon to have to face this. I couldn't do it.

"_Hm… where to put you… hm… you have a difficult mind to place. You have intelligence- most defiantly, some of the most I have seen in a few years. But then there is also a desire for adventure, and you most certainly have much more courage than most. But then there is your loyalty to your family- that seems to be the driving force with you. _

_But is that where you would be best for once I really don't know. What do you think?_"

"Slytherin, my family would disown me if I were anyplace else…" I thought hastily.

"_Well if you are completely sure it is_: _Slytherin!" _

Finally for the first time that day I was able to breath a great sigh of relief because after this everything must be a breeze.

How wrong I was about to find out I was.


End file.
